Shoalhaven ExServicemens and Sports Club News

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Learn to dance the night away

Early Bird Membership winners

Easter Promotion

Mid Year Bonus Draw

Mothers Day

The Shoalhaven Ex-Servicemen's Club Newsletter May 2012

Contents
Veterans and Veterans Families Counselling Service, ADF Holiday Facilities.

Stand Tall
the national launch of the PoSt tRauMatic StReSS DiSoRDeR (PtSD) aWaReneSS caMPaignManuka oval, Canberra. November 25, 2012.

The Shoalhaven Ex Servicemen's Club Limited Privacy Policy.

The President's Report, followed by all subsidiary club reports & The Secretary Manager's report plus subsidary club photos

JP's and Cafe times

Veterans and Veterans Families Counselling Service news.Shoalhaven Ex-Servicemen's Club Limited Privacy Policy, Presidents Report - Shoals Rugby Report - Rowing Club Report

Veterans and Veterans Families Counselling Service
A service founded by Vietnam veterans Supporting Australia’s veterans, peacekeepers and their families
VVCS provides counselling and support services to Australian veterans, peacekeepers, eligible members of the Defence Force community and their families, and F-111 Fuel Tank Maintenance workers and their partners and immediate family members.

VVCS is a specialised, free and confidential Australia-wide
service.

VVCS can provide you with:
• Individual, couple and family counselling including case management services
• After-hours crisis telephone counselling via Veterans Line
• Group programs including Anger Management, Depression, Anxiety, Lifestyle Management and Heart Health
• Support on transition from military to civilian life, including The Stepping Out Program
• Information, self-help resources and referrals to other services.
We can help you work through issues such as stress, relationship, family problems and other lifestyle issues as well as emotional or psychological issues associated with your military service.
If you need support or would like more information about us please give us a call or visit our website. 1800 011 046*
www.dva.gov.au/vvcs

• Free local call. Calls from mobile and pay phones may incur charges.

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ADF Holiday Facilities
The Royal Australian Air Force Welfare Recreational Company, the AAF Company and the Royal Australian Navy Central Canteens Board own and operate a number of holiday facilities at various locations on behalf of their respective Services.

The aim of these companies and boards is to provide high quality accommodation at discounted prices.

Typically, an eligible member must be staying at the facility to attract the discounted price, though Navy currently has an exemption for the families of members on operational deployment.
Eligibility criteria can be checked by calling:
• 02 6265 2797 for Army and Air Force facilities; and
• 02 6266 4985 for Navy facilities.

Alternatively, please contact the management team at each holiday centres.
Please call the facilities direct to find out about vacancies.
Navy Holiday Facilities
• Forster Gardens at Forster, NSW, ph 02 6554 6027
• Bungalow Park at Burrill Park, NSW, ph 02 4455 1621
• Amblin Caravan Park at Busselton, WA, ph 08 9755 4079
Army Holiday Facilities
• Goolwa Holiday Homes at Goolwa, SA, ph 08 8555 0255
• Kalbarri Beach Resort at Kalbarri, WA, ph 08 9937 1700
• Fort Direction at South Arm, TAS, ph 03 6237 7124
(please note that the facilities at Fort Direction are Spartan
in nature)
• Army Alpine Centre at Mount Buller, VIC, ph 03 5735 7603
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Stand Tall
the national launch of the PoSt tRauMatic StReSS DiSoRDeR (PtSD) aWaReneSS caMPaignManuka oval, Canberra. November 25, 2012.

This evenT is To launch a naTional awareness campaign for
posT TraumaTic sTress DisorDer (pTsD)
This syndrome is primarily prevalent in War Veterans, Police,
Ambulance and Triage Personnel, Fire Fighters and Emergency Service Personnel.

All of these people have contracted this condition in the service
of their country or service to their fellow man.

pTsD is a relatively unknown mental disorder but credible sources say that at any one time, more than 1.5 million Australians suffer from it which in turn affects family and close associates. If we allocate just seven people to each sufferer then we can assume that nearly half the population of Australia is affected and most of them don’t know the reason. They need to be told.

On November 25, 2012, many interested parties will join together in this event which will launch a national awareness campaign to show the Australian public, the symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and point sufferers, their families and their friends towards avenues of help.
This event will attract the majority of the national media, major politicians and at least 10,000 spectators to witness a day of cricket, soldiers and music. While it will be a day of fun and entertainment, the major messages of PTSD awareness will be broadcast in a subtle manner.

Cricket Australia and the Mental Health Council of Australia have demonstrated their support for this day as have Defence, The Southern Cross Austereo Radio Network, the major support groups and the Police Force, SES, Firefighters and Ambulance Service.

The main feature will be a 20/20 over cricket match 2.00pm to 5.00pm a WoRlD coMBineD SeRViceS Xi VS the aca Masters
(lehmann, Bevan, hayden, Kasprowicz, Bichel, healy)

a cuRtain RaiSeR Will Be PlaYeD in the MoRning a Wncl 20/20 Match 9am to Midday auStRalian caPital teRRitoRY MeteoRS
VS neW South WaleS BReaKeRS

a concert with John Schumann and fred Smith. ‘i was only 19’ & ‘the Dust of uruzgan’with support bands from Canberra, will begin at 5:30pm.

a Parachute Demonstration, tracker Dog Displays and rappelling SaS troops from a Blackhawk helicopter will feature in between the cricket matches.

Veterans bike ride
In the days preceding the launch, we propose a ride from all state capitals to Canberra, with promotional events en route. This could include a ceremonial ride along Anzac Avenue, a series of reunions and a mass BBQ at Manuka Oval on Saturday 24th November.

there will be displays and consultation areas around the ground by various support groups.Picking up the Peaces, RaR association, VVaa, Police, RSl, naval association, Raaf association, DfWa, tPi, legacy, War Widows guild, Partners of Veterans association, Beyond Blue, the Mental health council of Australia.

Proposed guests list
Governor General, Prime Minister, Minister for Veterans Affairs,
Defence Minister, Opposition Leader, Shadow Ministers, Chief of Army, Navy, Airforce, Chief of the Defence Forces, Ken Doolan, Peter Leahy, Angus Houston, VC winners, Sponsors, Greg Chappell, Ian Chappell, Kerry O’Keefe, James Sutherland, Paul Marsh, Michael Christo.

in the weeks preceding november 25, the international Defence cricket challenge will be played in Canberra, with teams from Australia,
New Zealand, Malaysia, india and Pakistan, competing. it is proposed that the final of the challenge will be played on Manuka Oval on Saturday November 24.
That night, the awards dinner will be held at RMc Duntroon. the world defence team will be announced at the dinner. this team will play the aca Masters in a 20/20 match the next day. november 25 will also celebrate the 25th anniversary of the rejuvenation of defence cricket, a tradition that goes back to WWi in 1919.

Contact Details
Tony Dell

0419 771 736
Denis byrne
(Colonel Ret.)

02 6688 2222
allan hartley
True Creative

0411 427 909
Jim bancroft
(Colonel Ret.)

02 6257 0495
0403 315 117

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THE SHOALHAVEN EX-SERVICEMEN'S CLUB LIMITED PRIVACY POLICY

The Shoalhaven Ex-Servicemen’s Club is subject to the provisions of the Privacy Act 1988. The Act contains 10 National Privacy Principles that set standards for the handling of personal information. The Club has a commitment to privacy and the safeguarding of member, visitor and staff personal information.

Any personal information provided by you to the Club (e.g. name, address, date of birth and contact details), including information collected as a result of a membership card being placed in a gaming machine or other club machine that is linked to a member loyalty system (not ATMs) that may provide a benefit or service to you, will be protected.

The Club does not usually disclose your personal information to any other organisation or person unless there is a legal requirement to do so. The Club may also disclose personal information to relevant authorities if it reasonably believes that there is a threat to an individual’s life, health or safety, or public health or safety. If the Club has reason to suspect that unlawful activity has been, is being or may be engaged in, personal information may be used or disclosed as a necessary part of any investigation and reporting to relevant persons or authorities.

The Club may disclose your information to third parties that provide services under contract to the club. These contracts require the third party to keep your personal information confidential and secure.

Your personal information, including information about you obtained as a result of you placing your membership card in a gaming or other club machine (not ATM’s), may be used by the Club for marketing purposes to improve our services and to provide you with the latest information about those services, any new related services and promotions.

If you do not wish to receive information about services and promotions, the Club, on request, will remove your name from mailing lists.

You have a right to access any personal information that the Club may hold about you, including a right of correction of your information. The Club will generally not charge a fee for you to access your personal information.

If you require any further information, please contact Club Administration.
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The President’s Report

Fellow Members.

Fellow Members.

There were many extremely contented and fortunate Members and guests at the Main and Sport’s Clubs for the final draws of the Easter Baskets of goodies and we thank all for their participation and patience during these very popular events and congratulations to the lucky winners.

Bonus tickets are now being given at each raffle, when you purchase the required amount of tickets, firstly for Mother’s Day Bonus, valued at $400:00 and secondly the Mid Year Bonus, with prize monies totaling $5,000:00.

As mentioned in my Last Monthly Report, the Cricketers really excelled themselves, scooping the pool by winning all three Grades, First, Second and Third Grade Championships. A mighty achievement giving the Cricket Club their best season for many years. Congratulations to all involved and really enjoy your Presentation night to be held at the end of the Month.

Another of the Sporting Subsiduaries doing well is the Fishing Club, they are always open to new Members and the fishing outings conducted are top class, They will be holding their A.G.M I n the Function room of the Main Club on the 21st June, so if you wish to join, the invitation is open.

Speaking of A.G.M. “s, Your Club will conducting it’s A.G.M. on Sunday the 24th June, 10:00 A.M. in the function of the Main Club, your attendance is earnestly requested.

This will a very significant Meeting due to the Notice of Motion from the last year now being in force with the new revamped Board restructure taking shape. As per the Constitution of the Club, a notice of all positions available for election, will be placed on the notice boards at least one month prior to the Meeting date. Nomination form packs for those positions will then be available and must be completed and tendered to the Secretary Manager at least 14 days prior to the date of the meeting.

At the last Board Meeting applications were received to participate in the “2012 Youth Leadership Challenge” , which entails 10 days of experiencing the many hardships endured by our Heroic Diggers traversing the “Kokoda Track”.
The lucky person selected unanimously was Ms Lauren Carroll, one of the numerous exceptional Staff Members of the Club, congratulations Lauren, we wish you luck trekking through the mud and rugged hills, especially without makeup and all the trimmings of home life.

It is very satisfying to note that this will be the third person, your Club has sent to do this challenge, initiated by the R.S.L. & Services Clubs some ten or more years ago and I certainly trust we continue this on for many years. The experience and knowledge gained by these people in invaluable

By the end of the month, the laying of carpet in the Sport’s Club should be completed and a new television set should be up and running in the open area at the Eastern side.

During the past month the Club has also very sadly lost a number of members, condolences are extended to the loved who grieve their loss, our thoughts are with you, treasure the many memories you have of them, as they are precious memories and to those on the sick list and in hospital we wish you a speedy recovery back to good health and family.

Keep safe and be kind to each other.

Sayonara for now.
Kev Duffey President.
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SHOALHAVEN RUGBY REPORT

Shoals open season 2012 with a good win

A large crowd gathered at Shoalhaven Ricoh Rugby Park on Saturday 14th April to welcome in season 2012 and was treated to a feast of fast open rugby throughout the afternoon. It was a splendid autumn day, the ground was a picture and the brightly lit electronic scoreboard highlighted time and scores. This ground stands testament to the club’s hard work over many years and is standout field in this competition. The club was pleased to welcome Mayor and Club Patron, Clr. Paul Green, to this opening game of the year, and his loud cheering for the home side added to the roar around the ground as the teams battled it out on the field.

The South Coast Register/Soilco Shoalhaven 1st grade team launched their attack on the 2012 Illawarra District Rugby Union championship with a blistering second half performance that saw them run over the top of the Camden Rams and score a 30 points to 16 victory. The teams were all tied up at 3 points apiece at the half time break after a tight tussle over the first 40 minutes of play but Shoals forward power paved the way for a high points scoring effort in the second stanza.

Shoals took the field, with Trent Higgins proudly leading the way, with a much changed outfit than the one that finished the prior season. Prop, Kyle Harrison looking as robust as ever, was given outstanding support by the burly new comer, Dave Coventry, while Alex Wilson went to breakaway, Trent Higgins to lock and Tim Brown provided a fast, hard hitting addition to the loose forwards. In the backs Josh Dennis went in as five eighth and proved a fine link to his outside men while Gareth Smith joined the team at outside centre. For much of the game the 3 Brandons, Mark, Keiran and Steve , provided the pace and elusiveness that eventually broke the back of Camden’s hard hitting defence. Alan Tonaccia, who played a solid game until an injury took him from the field, was replaced by hard running and equally hard tackling number 8, Steve Harrison, who made a welcome return from a lengthy, injury plagued stint on the sidelines. Steve played at his customary high standard and inspired his team mates with his devastating running and crashing tackles.

The Coffee Fix/Cookes Tyre Service Shoals’ Second Grade team came from well behind at the half time break to fall short by just 2 points at the end of the match going down by 14 points to twelve.

Shoals fielded a strong side with Tim Murphy at the helm and a useful mix of senior players to steer the younger ones along. Phil Duncan returned as five eighth and the ever reliable Tui Aberhama played inside centre with Dave Sproule on his favoured left wing, while Pierre Jennings and Ash Henry added class and experience to the pack. Camden always field strong sides, particularly in the lower grades, and this match was a useful test for Shoals in their first hit out of the season.

This was a dour match with 2 evenly matched sides going hard at it from the opening whistle. There were mistakes aplenty as the new season got underway with loose passing and poor handling bringing a frequent halt to proceedings. However as the game rolled on the mistakes lessened and the tempo of the match increased to reach a high point late in the day as the scores grew closer.
Camden had few opportunities to score points in this half as Shoals’ piled on the pressure and played with skill and no little vigour. Shoals finally broke through just before full time with a great team try finished off with Kyle Kilgallon hurling himself over the try line and under the posts. The conversion took Shoals to within 2 points of Camden but time ran out before they had much of a chance to go for further points.

Shoals’ next opponent, in another home game on Saturday 21st April, is against the always strong Shamrock’s club. Shoals are then on the road and play the strong Avondale side and return for a home game on Saturday 5th May against long time local foe, Kiama.

Illawarra District Rugby Union
Draw for Season 2012
Shoalhaven Rugby Club

Round Date Opposition Venue
4 5th May Kiama HOME
5 12th May Vikings AWAY
6 19th May Engadine HOME
7 26th May Tech Waratahs AWAY
8 2nd June University HOME
9 16th June Bowral HOME
10 23rd June Camden AWAY
11 30th June Shamrocks AWAY
12 7th July Avondale HOME
13 14th July Kiama AWAY
14 21st July Vikings HOME
15 28th July Engadine AWAY
16 11th August Tech Waratahs HOME
17 18th August University AWAY
18 25th August Bowral AWAY

Until next month from the “Rah Rah's

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SHOALHAVEN UNITED FOOTBALL (SOCCER) CLUB
If anyone would like any information about Shoalhaven United Soccer Club please call Gary Girdlestone
On 4421-5261 Publicity Office SUSC
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SHOALHAVEN ROWING CLUB REPORT

President Karen Legge
Vice President Chris Turner
Secretary Simone Jones
Finance Office Peter McGrath
Club Captain David Eddington
Vice Captain Ray Jones
Boat Captain Linda Eddington
Promotion Officer Tony Weaver
Committee
Mary Ambrose
Katrina Davis
Lyn Whitbread
Anne O'Neill
Roger Hardy
Andrew Parry
John Macey

The run of warm weather has been a blessing for those early morning sessions for our new crop of Novices from the Medical Faculty at Nowra Campus, facilitated by Natelle Ball, a second year Med student and former Leichardt Club rower.  We are hopeful of getting all of them into an eight oared boat fairly soon

Beginners Classes Saturdays  7am (six lessons for $60)  Enquires and applications: 
Ray 0429317048 Tony : 0432730268
Dave:  0428277728
  
Learn to Row is also active with Friday afternoon school age classes with Moose Eddington, and After work Learn to Row for adults
 
Learn to Row enquiries Ray 0429317048 or Tony 0432730268
 
More photos next month
 
Cheers Tony Weaver

If you would like to give rowing a go details can be found on our web site (www.shoalhavenrowing.com), or else come and have a chat 7.00 am most Saturdays at the club shed at Paringa Park off SCENIC DRIVE  under the hospital  Introductory orientation session is free, and Learn To Row is $60 for six sessions. check out our club calendar on our website

School Rowing
NOWRA high continues to conduct and encourage rowing as a school sport each Thursday this term. Unfortunately the time constraints do not allow for in depth coaching but enjoyment and minor skill improvements are evident each week. Some show great potential. If we can harness these athletes along with any from the TID this is something the club could well pursue to bolster our junior ranks.
Of course, as always we need a group of dedicated personnel to drive these actions.

Good Rowing to all Tony Weaver Publicity Officer
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Learn to Row Saturday Mornings 7am call Tony 0432730268 or David 0428277728

Boating & Coaching Tips
Rigging
Height of the Swivel (gate) relative to the Seat.
Standard measurement;
Sweep—15cm to 18cm
Scull— 14cm to 16cm

In sculling the Bowside swivel should be set 0.5 to 1.5 cm higher than the Stroke side gate to allow for the difference in hand height that occurs
at the crossover. There are three basic considerations in setting
the height of the swivel:
1. The heavier the crew the higher the swivel.
2. The bigger the rowers thighs the higher the swivel. It is necessary for the rower to be able to clear their thighs on recovery and keep the oar off the water at the same time.
3. The larger the shell in relation to the crew the lower the swivel.

In rough water it is some times necessary to raise the height of the gates, to allow better clearance on recovery.

Learn to Row Contact Ray Cox
 0429317048 and 44223095

COACHING

Saturday Learn to Row Ray Cox & Tony Weaver
Level 2 Rowing Development Ray Jones
Level 3 Moose Eddington
Junior Development Moose Eddington &
Ron Lynch
Sunday Master Training Group Ken Goodsall
If you would like to volunteer and serve on the committee please contact the President , you would be most welcome.

To book for the Learn to Row program contact David: 0428 277 728 or Ray 44223095..
For the $60 Learn to Row bookings call David: 0428 277 728 or Ray 44223095 or check the website
Are you Interested in joining an athletic sport without pounding your body?
Experience our beautiful river in all its moods – as often as you like – in company!
Well equipped purpose built rowing shed with Concept Two rowing machines,
Novices and new members guaranteed to get a row with special Saturday morning beginners time slot,
Club tradition of ongoing free coaching and training tips from more senior members.
Option of regular regatta trips to other locations
Several age grades - compete in your own age class.
BEGINNERS CLASSES TAKE THREE SUCCESSIVE SATURDAYS ($60 fee)
Good swimming skills and water confidence a necessity (fall outs are rare though). For Medical issues – seek approval from your doctor
ENQUIRIES AND APPLICATIONS:
David: 0428 277 728 Ray 44223095

Note photos at the end of the Newsletter
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Drink Wisely

Rewards Club

Message from Steve Arnold the Club's Manager of IT Services - Cricket Report -Social Golf Club Report - Message from the Pro - Mortality Fund details

New WiFi Hotspot available at your Club.

From the 1st April 2012 (no joke!) the Board of Directors and the Information Technology Department staff, of the Shoalhaven Ex-Servicemen's Club Ltd are pleased to announce a exciting new service provided for our Club members.

From April onwards any Club member will be able to access the Internet for World Wide Web surfing free of charge via the Clubs own internal wireless network. This service will be available from both the Main club in Nowra and the Sports club at Worrigee.

Any member who has a portable computing device such as a Smart Phone, Tablet computing device or even a laptop computer, which is equipped with wireless WiFi networking capabilities. Will be able, whilst in the immediate vicinity of the Club to connect to the Internet via the new WiFi Hotspot.

In practice a members mobile computing device will typically detect the existence of our WiFi Hotspot and ask if you wish to connect. At that point your web browser will open to a web page prompting you for a password. The password is a randomly generated word which is changed daily. This password is available to Club members upon request or you can even use the Entrance Terminal in the Clubs foyer to find out what it is. Simply ask one of our staff members to show you how.

So the next time your at the Club and wish to check your Web Mail or perhaps catch-up on Facebook why not use our bandwidth and preserve your own data limits while accessing the Internet at Broadband speeds. Even those who have no personal mobile data plan at all can still join in. So long as your mobile device supports WiFi.
Steve Arnold Club IT Manager
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THE CRICKET CLUB REPORT

President - George Dickie
Vice-President - Paul Meakins
Secretary - Christine Wright
Treasurer - Cathy McMenamin
Committee - Sharen Balazic, Daniel Gleeson, Rachael Croese, John Wright, Mark Biggs.

Sorry about this month’s issue, I have been interstate on holiday and only got back today.
 
I will get a comprehensive report done next month.
 
Regards,George

Until next month cheers from behind the stumps

www.shoalhavenexservicemenscricketclub.com.au

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SOCIAL GOLF CLUB REPORT

2011-12 Social Golf Committee
Todd Richter (President),
2011-12 Social Golf Committee
Todd Richter (President),
Phil Rimmer (Treasurer),
Derek Trusler (Captain maybe),
Bob Pender (Secretary)
Committee Members - Judy Wakeford, Luke Bowden, Errol Gear, Mark Willett & Graham Duke - Welcome aboard Luke

The Gods certainly like to frighten us - a sudden down pour on match eve of our annual Culburra/Currarong challenge put the wind up our organisers, but fortunately Sunday 25 March presented in all its glory and the game was afoot.

66 players (fantastic) took off with the shotgun start and despite some damp areas course wise a great day for the fray.

Scoring was pretty consistent from all clubs, but in the end Currarong came home with a wet sail and took the honours and congratulations. Score averages were Currarong 34.85, Ex-Servos 32.63 and Culburra 30.81.

Many hands made light work of the post match duties - Judy "gimme your money" with the raffle, Luke "have a sausage" on the barbie and the setting up/cleaning up of the luncheon by the gang - my thanks to all.

Big welcome to new members Margaret and Daryl Campbell, Julie Louery, Judy and Brad Porter. Thrown in at the deep end did not deter their application to the cause and we look forward to their ongoing presence with the club.

The "in-club" competition prizes were well dispersed with Ken Hodges knocking up the 2011-2012 winners score - well done Ken.

Those that chased him home were:-

Winners Ken Hodges 42 points $35 Voucher each
1st Runner up Bob Bowden 41 points $20 Voucher each
2nd Runner up Peter Harvey 39 points c/b $15 Voucher each
Front 9 Judy Wakeford 20 points 2 Balls
Back 9 Col Burgess 20 points 2 Balls
NTP Shortest 17th Bob Pender $20 Moto Voucher
NTP 6th N/A
NTP 8th Peter Harvey 1 Ball
NTP 12th Murray Smith 1 Ball
Men’s A L/Drive Murray Smith 1 Ball
Men’s B L/Drive Graham Duke 1 Ball
Ladies L/Drive Judy Wakeford 1 Ball
Men’s D & P Bob Bowden 1 Ball
Ladies D & P Linda Trusler 1 Ball
Birds Nest 2nd N/A 3 Balls
Handicappers Scalps Murray Smith Bob Pender Col Burgess
1 Ball each
Challenge Result
Currarong average 34.85, Ex-Servos 32.63 and Culburra 30.81

Shoalhaven Heads on the 22nd April will provide some good golf - how it all went next month.

“Pot Hole”
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MESSAGE FROM THE PRO

 Congratulations to all our recent event winners. In the mens section, Steve Mauger produced a fine round to take out the April Monthly Mug with a 62 nett. Along with the mug, Steve also qualified first in the singles match-play, where the top 16 nett scores qualified. All players please check the notice board to see if you were among the top 16.
Please note that all matches must be played on the monthly medal day, which is usually the first Saturday of the month.
The Easter period saw many visitors enjoying our great facility and all enjoyed their experience here at Worrigee Links. The only downside to social golf is the amount of un-repaired pitch-marks left in the greens, so we ask all members to be vigilant and help repair the pitch-marks and help keep our greens in top condition.
The pennant season is drawing to a close for another year and although none of our teams featured in the prize results this year, we thank all players for their commitment in representing our club and hope that you all enjoyed playing your matches. 
Daylight Savings time has passed for another year, but there are still more than enough hours in the day for everyone to get out and enjoy our great golf course. The green staff continue to keep our facility in great condition for the benefit of all golfers! Hope to see you out on The Links soon!
Good Golfing til next month.
Rob Nancarrow
Golf Professional
Ph: 4421 7430
Fax: 4421 7427
Mob: 0410 484 213
email:
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Special Notice to Members regarding the Mortality Fund

A number of members have recently queried the entitlements on the passing of their next of kin.

Under by-law 39, all members of the Shoalhaven Ex-Servicemen's Club Ltd accrue an entitlement to be paid to their Next of Kin on their demise. This is calculated at $40 per year of continuous membership up to a maximum of $400

To claim this benefit on the passing of a member, the Next of Kin (as nominated by the member on his/her application form for membership) should make application for the grant in writing to the Club giving proof of identity. (relevant forms are available at the office in Junction St.)

Payment by cheque will be made as soon after the claim is lodged as is possible.

For further information, members are invited to approach any of the managerial staff on duty during the Club opening hours.

Thank-you. C Allen Secretary Manager.

Ladies Golf club & Men's Golf Club Reports

LADIES GOLF CLUB REPORT
Ladies Competition Golf every Tuesday.

Many clubs along the south east coast have kangaroos hopping across their fairways or they are found sheltering under tress in the sweltering summer heat. I have seen the occasional snake at some courses and have even seen an echidna going about its business. Here at Worrigee Links we have a pair of breeding black swans who like to move from one water hazard to the other (located a good distance from each other) dad settles the babies safely on mumma swan's back and then escorts his family across the golf course to the safety of his water hazard destination.

All golf stops on the course while the royal entourage passes. What a spectacular sight, we golfing members at Worrigee feel so privileged - come see for yourselves and enjoy the golf at the same time!

Handicaps from any club in Australia.
Visitors are very welcome at our small friendly club.
For bookings just phone 44217430

Women’s Golf Club Office Holders:
President  Jan Perkins
Vice President Pat Leach
Secretary Catherine Pank
Treasurer  Linda Innes
Captain  Alice Harrison
Vice Captain Sandra Mitchell
H'Cap Manager Pat Stevens
Publicity Denise Johnson
Vets Rep. Pat Leach
Committee Margaret Watts

SHOALHAVEN EX-SERVICEMEN’S WOMEN’S GOLF – RESULTS FROM TUESDAY 27th March 2012

The March Monthly Medal, for ‘A’ grade, was won by Patricia Stevens with a nett score of 78 and runner-up was Sue Earle with a nett score of 82. The ‘B’ grade winner was Catherine Pank with a nett score of 74 and the runner-up was Margaret Campbell with a nett score of 87. The ‘C’ grade winner was Cheryl Bargwanna with a nett score of 75 and the runner-up was Denise Johnson with a nett score of 76.  The Drive-n-Pitch for division 1 went to Liz Steedan and for division 2 Catherine Pank took out the honours. The putting competition was won by Denise Johnson with a wonderful score of 33 putts. The ball run down for the day went to Liz Steedan, Linda Innes and Pat Leach.

SHOALHAVEN EX-SERVICEMEN’S WOMEN’S GOLF – RESULTS FROM TUESDAY 3rd April 2012

The April Monthly Medal, for ‘A’ grade, was won by Pat Leach with a nett score of 75 and runner-up was Sue Earle with a nett score of 78. The ‘B’ grade winner was Catherine Pank with a nett score of 77 and the runner-up was Alice Harrison with a nett score of 84. The ‘C’ grade winner was Linda Innes with a nett score of 86 and the runner-up was Roma Chaplin with a nett score of 87.  The Drive-n-Pitch for division 1 went to Pat Leach and for division 2 Roma Chaplin took out the honours. The putting competition was won by Pat Leach with a wonderful score of 28 putts. The ball run down for the day went to Patricia Stevens, Michelle Moy, Pat Collier and Annie Hardie.

SHOALHAVEN EX-SERVICEMEN’S WOMEN’S GOLF – RESULTS FROM TUESDAY 10th April 2012

The Worrigee Links golfing ladies played an 18 hole Stableford competition on Tuesday 10th April 2012 which saw Catherine Pank winning the event with a score of 31 pts and coming in second was Margaret Watts on 30 pts. The drive-n-pitch for division 1 was won by Sue Earle and for division two Linda Innes took out the honours. The ball run down went to Dot Burton and Sue Earle all registering scores of 28/27 pts.

Congratulations to all and well played in very windy, trying conditions.

Just a reminder that the Women’s Golf Charity Day is happening on the 24th April 2012...please refer to the Ladies Golf section, on this web site, for more details.

For information on our Women’s golf section and upcoming events please contact any one of the Women’s Committee who will be very happy to help with your enquiries....New Members are always welcomed.

Happy Golfing....Cheers....Denise

For information on our Women’s golf section and upcoming events please contact any one of the Women’s Committee who will be very happy to help with your enquiries....New Members are always welcomed.

www.shoalhavenexservos.com.au/ladiesgolf.html

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MENS GOLF CLUB REPORT

SHOALHAVEN EX-SERVICEMEN'S GOLF COMMITTEE 2011

Mens Golf Club Office Holders:
President Bob Walsh
Vice President Steve Mauger
Secretary Craig Daly
Treasurer Mat Nilsen
Captain Brian Dwyer
Vice Captain Lindsay Beal
Handicapper Rob Nancarrow
Caterer Les Cuka
Publicity Officer Craig Daly
Committee Bob Bowden - Richard Lydon
Board Nom Eddie Stoddart

Saturday 24th March 2012
Wray Owen Monthly Medal
Back to golfing!
After nearly one month since we had our last Saturday comp due to wet weather,61 starters were glad to get back out in Worrigee Links. Missing two monthly medals,the club decided to host one ,many found it still very hard conditions,but were happy to be out and playing. The rain has green up the course so well and soon it will be in perfect playing conditions!
Winner
A-Grade Rob Nancarrow 71/68
B-Grade Todd Slaughter 86/70
C-Grade Tony Edmunds 93/67
Runners Up
A-Grade Les Cuka 81/69
B-Grade Brian Stapelton 88/72
C-Grade Geoff McGilvray 94/70
Third
A-Grade Troy Moanie 69/69
B-Grade Kel Turner 88/74
C-Grade Terry Wynn 97/71
Ladies winner Sue Earle 101/78
D/P A-Grade 9th Troy Moanie 18mts
D/P B-Grade 4th Steve Kohler 473cm
D/P C-Grade 15th Richard Lydon 229cm
L/D A- Mick Liddy
L/D B- Todd Slaughter
L/D C- Not Won
NTP 6th Trevor Snoxall 255cm
NTP 14th Evan Logan 280cm
Balls went to 76 c/b

Saturday 31st March 2012
Stone the crows!
The crows are sadly back and most of us suffered with losing one or more balls,but it did not stop the great scores coming through,plans are in place to see our black feathered friends disappear soon!
WINNER
A-Grade Dave Hedger 40 pnts
B-Grade Bob Bowden 40 pnts
C-Grade Jason Thompson 41 pnts
RUNNER UP
A-Grade Les Cuka 39 pnts
B-Grade Steve Mauger 37 pnts
C-Grade Terry Ashley 40 pnts
THIRD
A-Grade Clarrie Raymer 38 pnts
B-Grade Michael Frazer 35 pnts
C-Grade Garry Ganderton 38pnts
Ladies Winner Sue Earle 34 pnts
D/P A 9th Peter Bergin 253cm
D/P B 4th Ted Street 84cm
D/P C 15th David Berry 560cm
NTP 6th Ken Smith 210cm
NTP 14th Craig Daly 680cm
Balls went to 34 pnts!

Saturday 7th April 2012
Bridgestone Tyres Single Stableford
WINNER 
A-Grade Greg Bainbrigge 41 pnts
B-Grade Bob Walsh 37 pnts 
C-Grade Terry Wynn 42 pnts
RUNNER UP
A-Grade Stan Buckham 41 pnts
B-Grade Adam Green 34 pnts 
C-Grade Dennis Rutherford 40 pnts
THIRD
A-Grade Craig Daly 40 pnts
B-Grade Glenn Dhu 34 pnts
C-Grade Jim Alder 35 pnts
LADIES WINNER Sue Earle 31 pnts
D/P A-9th Craig Daly 125cm
D/P B-4th John Gardner 385cm
D/P C- 15th Jim Alder 270cm
NTP 6th Anthony Clarke 550cm
NTP 14th Alona Brown 150cm
Balls went to 33pnts
Next week Wray Owen Monthly Medal

Saturday 14th April 2012 Wray Owen Monthly Medal and Singles matchplay qualifier
Congrats to Steve Mauger who won the Monthly Mug with a great score of 62 net.Good luck to the top 16 match play entrants.
Please note: All first round matches must be played on the may medal monthly medal day...
WINNER
A-Grade Stan Buckham 66
B-Grade Steve Mauger 62
C-Grade Garry Ganderton 74
RUNNER UP
A-Grade Ian Shapcott 68
B-Grade Glenn Dhu 69 
C-Grade Tom McMaster 75
THIRD
A-Grade Evan Logan 68
B-Grade Phil Henry 69
C-Grade Doug Reid 75
Laddies Winner Sue Earle 65
Long Drive 5th
A-Grade Kirk Brown
B-Grade A Liebert
C-Grade Jim Ireland
Laddies Pat Leach
NTP 8th Rod Craig 4.3m
NTP 14th Les Cuka 900 cm
D/P-A-9th Brian Dwyer 298cm
D/P-B-4th Trevor Johnstone 212cm
D/P-C-15th Bernie Schipp 299cm
Balls went to 72.

Great Golfing Craig
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promotion

Get your heart pumping!!

The Fishing Club Reports & Vets Golf Club Report

FISHING CLUB REPORT

Competition No 10 for the Fishing Club was held on the weekend of 14th/15th April with 22 members nominating to fish. with the weather  being so good for a change, all fisher persons came in with good catches from all sections.

Glen Newbold had a good catch of Snapper totalling over the 9kg mark. Kevin and Alan Moon both had good catches of Mowong and Flathead from the Deep Sea.

The Preston Family had a mixture of fish from the Estuary. Paul and Penny Gray fished the Rocks for Tailor and Salmon. Ray Smith had a good catch of Bream off the Beach. All the Junior members came in with great catches.

It was good to see Simone Preston weighing in Fish and taking out Runners-Up 0prize in the ladies Section.

The results for Competition no 10 are as follows:
Winners
Sub Juniors Riley Preston
Juniors Mitchell Preston
Beach Ray Smith
Rock Paul Gray
Estuary Barry Preston
Deep Sea Glen Newbold
Veterans Barry Moore
Ladies Penny Gray

Runner-up
Sub Juniors Jayden Moore
Juniors James Jagot
Beach Josh Preston
Rock Peter Flack
Deep Sea Nev Whalen
Ladies Simone Preston

It was good to see Barry Moore returning and weighing in fish after his long illness.

With only two competitions remaining there is still quite a number of sections up for grabs in the yearly prizes. The club hopes to be having a Social Weekend in the near future as soon as a date can be arranged we will notify ASAP

Competition No 11 will be held on the weekend of the 12th/13th May with the Fish of the month being Salmon

Until next competition Ray
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Veterans Golf Club Office Holders
President Robert Watts
Vice President Dennis Hochkins
Secretary Stuart Dossetor
Treasurer Brian Wassell
Captain Alf Bargwanna
Vice Captain Bruce Ryan
Publicity Peter Bergin
Committee  Alex Leach Chris Hoffman
Board Nominee Eddie Stoddart
Veterans Golf is played on Wednesdays from 7.30 am.
Competition is open to all registered vets nationwide. All visitors and Lady Vets are very welcome. Green Fee $12
Enter by computer or phone the pro shop.

WEDNESDAY 28th March,2012
SINGLE STABLEFORD
Winner Les Cuka 45 points
Second Pete Bergin 40 points
Third Lindsay Beal 39 points count back

NTP's 6th John Black (700)
8th Gary Sawyer (320)

Drive and Pitch 4th Brian Stapleton (190)
15th Doug Reid (220)

Ball run down to 30 (Alf Bargwanna)

Ex-Servos 387 lead Highlands 293

WEDNESDAY 4th APRIL,2012 MONTHLY MUG
Cannon Wins Worrigee Vets Monthly Mug

A super Autumn day greeted the Ex-Servos vets for the Wray Owen monthly mug and Bob Cannon took advantage of our first dry track for nearly seven weeks. Cannon fired a net 68 to edge out Garry Young by a stroke with Tony Macri a further shot back in third place.
Mick Crews won both nearest the pin prizes but failed to capitalise on these two great shots.

Vets are reminded to organise partners for Ross Riley Memorial Trophy, a "2 mates ANZAC Day" ambrose to be contested on Wednesday 18th.

Also note that there will be no competition golf on April 25th, ANZAC Day.

Next weeks game is a single stableford sponsored by PB Smash Repairs.

WEDNESDAY 11th APRIL, 2012 SINGLE STABLEFORD
48 MEMBERS
1 VISITOR
WINNER: BRIAN MALVERN 41
RUNNER UP: GARY SAWYER 37
2ND RUNNER UP: JOHN GARDNER 37
NEAREST THE PIN:
6TH: DOUG REID 5410
8TH: PAT LEACH 296
DRIVE AND PITCH:
4TH: DOUG REID 242
16TH: GARY SAWYER 2156
HANDICAP CHANGES:
BRIAN MALVERN 19/18
BRIAN STAPYLTON 16/15
DONALD FORSTER 20/19
MATTHEW HUNG 11/12
NORM LEE 17/18
ROD ELLIOTT 8/9
GRAHAM DAVIS 19/20

Pete.
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The Snooker Club, Indoor Sports Report & The Women's Bowling Club Report

THE SNOOKER CLUB REPORT
                                         
 Well here goes, the snooker season is well and truly under way, with everybody getting right into their games, there has been some good wins and some very bad losses for the ex-servos, at this stage and we still have 6 months to go to the end of the season, so it will be an interesting,  few months ahead,

We have the number 2 team in division 1 this year, come up from division 2 and we have seen some really close games that do not reflect the final outcome, of these games, very well, to say the least, with one week there was an 11 to 1 loss with there being 6 black ball games and a black ball respot so these games went against the team and then the following week had a 5 to 7 win so the boys are slowly holding there own in A Grade. the two div 2 teams are fairing in the middle of the pack at the moment, with the number 2 team coming up from div 3 as there is no C Grade this year so we hope the guys will learn a thing or two in div 2 and improve their game. the 2 new players in this team have had some good results as well for their very first year at snooker we may see a couple of young Alan Birds or Shane Demave’s on the way with them. well that's about all for now till we get the first round of results in and let you know how the club is fairing we will.

Finally this month, It is with our deepest sympathy, that the Ex-Servo’s Snooker Club, give to the family of, Bob O’Conner who passed away on the 13th of April 2012. Bob was a well liked snooker player from Sussex Inlet RSL and will be missed by all in the Shoalhaven Snooker.

SEEYAONTHEFELTS JAGGER

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INDOOR SPORTS CLUB REPORT

Well Easter has come and gone and the weather has started to get  a little cooler but much nicer to be able to sleep better at night. It will soon be time for switching on the electric blanket

The combined mens and ladies Singles were played recently and the new champion  for 2012 is Billy Drexel and the Runner-up is Fernando Di Castella. "Congratulations"

The teams for Country week have been decided but as yet I don't have the details, however the list will be placed on the notice board. Good Luck to all players who have been selected for Lismore on the June weekend.

District competition saw the Ex Servos "Newbies" playing so well they  gave the BBC "Waratahs" a lesson in bowls when they beat them 5-5 to 2-5. Great effort by the "Newbies". Captained by Joan Butler as they are a new team and certainly not had a lot of wins but still managing to hold 4th position on the ladder. Ex Servos Rebels are in top position followed by two BBC teams. Worthy of a mention was the way Rachel Howe beat Fernando & Tim Howe beat Jane Bennett. Rachel has been playing some really good bowls lately

Several bowlers headed to Sydney recently playing at State Level, None managed to get through to the final.

We are still looking for new bowlers and some of our players are will to do a bit of coaching if needed. So, if you know anyone who needs a new interest in life indoor bowls is a good way of getting out meeting new friends.

Birthday girl for week ending 22nd April Eveonne Geshwend so we all hope she has a lovely day.

We all have our bowling friend Glen Edwards in our thoughts after he recently lost his lovely wife Jan after a long illness. To Glen & family we send our love and prayers at this very sad time.

We wish any of our members who may not be feeling the best, A very speedy recovery.

I saw Joy Walsh this week and she has even been back playing a couple of games of Social Bowls, so hopefully she will be back full full time very soon. The Nomination Sheet for Indoor Sports is now on the Notice Board so please take time to nominate your committee for the next 12 months. The Annual General Meeting will be held in the Function Room at the Junction St Club on Sunday 20th May at 11:00am. Please try to attend as it is important for the future of Indoor Bowls.

From your Temporary Scribe Bette Matthews.
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Women's Bowling Club Report

Well the Easter bunny definitely came to the Shoalhaven leaving little droppings all over the greens.
In the past month we have had teams competing in several district events.
The ladies District Fours with the Ex-Servo’s team consisting of Skip Karen Matterson, Pat Stoddart, Helen Hart and Judy Henson. Unfortunately the team going down in the first round, with the competition giving our new bowlers experience playing out in the district. Well done ladies.
Ex-Servo’s also had team’s competing in the district over 60‘s. Ex-servo’s team consisting of Skip Elva Dinnie, Yvonne Olliver, Frances Carrett and Aurelia Lattanzio. I attended and watched the ladies in the third round with the team doing well. The ladies put up a good fight playing extremely good bowls against some tuff opposition. Well done ladies on making the third round.
The second team in the over 60’s Skip Pat Leach, Sue Rose, Sylvia Bourke and Priscilla Eastment unfortunately going down in the first round.
It is good to see our ladies playing in the district competitions.
The Club singles was also completed with the final being contested by Sue Rose and Deion Thurston. Both ladies played tough opposition throughout the competition to make the finals with some very tight finishes. Deion eventually coming out the winner on the day. Well done to both for making the finals and also thankyou to the umpire, Controlling body and markers throughout the competition. There would be no competition without your time and assistance.
District Pennants kicked off 27th March.
Round one saw the Ex-Servo's coming up against St.Georges Basin at home. With both teams playing well, team Matterson coming up with a draw 16-16 and team McLeod a loss 16-19 and overall loss on the day. The scores not reflecting the hard fought competition.
Round two saw the ladies travel to Sussex Inlet RSL. The greens being fast but the ladies adapted well. Team Leach finished with a draw 19-19 and team Dinnie going down to some excellent bowls 13-23 and once again the score does not reflect the tight competition.
Round three and the ladies again travelled this time to Sussex Inlet Bowling Club.
Team McLeod winning their game 27-23 and team Matterson going down 11-20.
The first of two byes being 4th April.
Round five the ladies travelled to Culburra. On a very brisk windy day and fast green the ladies stepped up and played well. Both teams picking up wins, team McLeod 23-19 and team Matterson 18-14 and winning the day. All ladies coming away feeling proud of their bowls and the games played. This does not take away from the fierce opposition from Culburra who also played well.
Round six and the beginning of round two and the ladies travelled to St. George’s Basin. On heavy greens our ladies played some brilliant bowls and as the day warmed and pace of the greens picked up, so did the bowls.
For the day Team Leach picked up a win 19-15 and team Matterson going down 14-21 and an overall loss on the day.
The remainder of our pennants will be played at home.
Thursday 19th April vs Sussex inlet RSL, Tuesday24th April vs Sussex Inlet Bowling Club and the final game Tuesday 1st May vs Culburra.
The club pairs are also underway with the first round being played 5th April.
Round one saw Karen Matterson and Lesley Farish came up against Elva Dinnie and Frances Carrett. Team Dinnie taking an early lead playing brilliant bowls. Team Matterson declaring at completion of end eleven score being 20-5. Round two will take place 26th April . Elva Dinnie and Frances Carrett up against Yvonne Olliver and Sylvia Bourke. In the second game Pat leach and Sue Rose will take on Aurelia Lattanzio and Deion Thurston. Good luck teams.
April also saw the first game of the Nancy Dwyer trophy played. Usually the Nancy Dwyer is played the first Thursday of the month and consists of three bowl pairs and 18 ends. However due to inclement weather earlier rounds were unable to be played.
Thelma McDougall and Pat Leach defeating Yvonne Olliver and Helen Hart 20-9
Shirley Warburton and Gwen Robinson defeating Sue Rose and Sylvia Bourke 13-11
The first of our quarterly meetings will be held 17th April.
A big thank-you to our social committee for their hard work and also to our green keepers for the amazing job they have been doing to keep our greens rolling as well as they do. Thanks guys!

Happy bowling All! and stay safe. Deion
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President's Annual Report 2011 – 2012

To begin my report I would like to extend many thanks to the Parent body, Mr Kevin Duffey and the Board of Directors. Mr Chris Allen C.E.O for all their financial support and help throughout the year. Also extend thanks to the Duty Officers, Bar Staff, Door Men & Office staff, who have always been ready to give a helping hand when needed.

The the Greenkeeper Tony and his staff who do a wonderful job in  keeping our greens in 1st class condition we extend our sincere thanks. The greens are a credit to you.

This year we are playing in the No 4 Pennants and at this time we are only 2/3rds of the way through the competition. I would like to congratulate our girls for the great effort they have made. Also thanks to the Ladies who drive our girls to the various venues.

To Neil Miller and Stan Warburton a big thank-you for giving up your spare time to umpire and also to the many ladies that gave up their time to act as Controlling Bodies.

To out very hard working Secretary Isabel McLeod who for many years has worked very hard for the betterment of our club, we give our heartfelt thanks for a job well done.

To Karen Matterson for being our Treasurer for the past 12 months, to my 2 Vice Presidents, Yvonne Olliver and Sue Rose who were also there to step in and help when I was not available. Many thanks to all of you.

Our Bowls Organiser Betty Pascall and her assistant Deion Thurston have done a very good job in organising Pennant games, Championships etc. Keep up the good work and we thank you.

The Selection Committee Betty Pascall, Karen Matterson, Elva Dinnie, Frances Carrett, Patti McGuire and Deion Thurston (who filled in when Patti resigned) we extend our sincere thanks for a good job well done.

The Delegates to the District Isabel McLeod, Thelma McDougal, Yvonne Olliver and Shirley Warburton and to Past Stoddard, we thank you one and all.

A big thank you to all our Social Committee led by Frances Carrett, Elva Dinnie, Yvonne Olliver, Thelma McDougal and Sue Rose also special thanks to Frances for providing our cake and milk. We are well known in the district for our hospitality and tempting delicacies.

Our Welfare Officer Pat Leach has done a wonderful job sending flowers etc and making hospital visits when needed and also for making sure  we have a very nice lunch when we finish our games. We appreciate all your efforts.

The Club's Publicity Officer Pat Stoddard has done a very good job and Deion Thurston has now taken over this portfolio and carried on the good work. Thank you so much. Also to our representatives at the Sports Council Karen Matterson and Shirley Warburton.

Over the past year I have had the pleasure in attending several District Presidents Days, Charity Days and Flag raising ceremonies. The invitation has always been President plus one.

In the past year representing our club we had teams playing in the District Singles, Pairs, Triples and Fours, Minor Singles and Minor Pairs, and Over Sixties,with some teams in different Club Competitions.

All our championships have been played in a very good sportsmanship manner. Congratulations to the winners and better luck next year for the Runners-up.

Championship Winners for 2011

Major Singles    Isabel McLeod
Runner-up    Pat Leach

Major Pairs    Thelma McDougal and Isabel McLeod    
Runners up        Lesley Farrish & Frances Carrett

Club Triples    Aurelia Lattanzio Thelma McDougal     & Isabel McLeod
Runners-up    Helen Hart, Lorraine Johnson & Sue     Rose

Club Fours    Frances Carrett, Lesley Farrish,     Yvonne Olliver and Elva Dinnie

Runners-up    Deion Thurston, Betty Pascall, Thelma     McDougal & Isabel McLeod.

Minor Singles    Deion Thurston
Runner-up      Lorraine Johnson

Consistency    Lesley Farrish
Runner up    Aurelia Lattanzio

Jack Elliot Trophy    Karen Matterson & Helen Hart
Runners up    Deion Thurston, Lorraine Johnson &     Lorraine Johnson

Nancy Dwyer Memorial     Isabel McLeod
Trophy

Patron’s Trophy    Frances Carrett

On the 14th November, 2011, our club held the Worrigee XXXX Triples which was a very successful tournament. The winning clubs on the day were:
1st Greenwell Point
2nd Bomaderry Bowling Club
3rd Warilla.
There were five Out of the Hat prizes which went to Greenwell Point, Lake Conjola, Nowra, and Bomaderry Bowling Club. The event was well supported by the District Clubs and are looking forward to coming back to our next one which will be in November 2012.

On the 3rd of December our ladies attended the Men's Bowling Presentation Day and this was followed by a game of Bowls. A most enjoyable day was held by all.

The 22nd November 2011 we held our Presentation Day in the Jack Elliott Room. Once again our Social Ladies served up a  lovely meal prior to the trophies being awarded. The Parent Body, Men's Bowls Club, Umpires and Green Keeper were also in attendance.

On the 12th December. Our Christmas Break-up party was held. A Christmas dinner was cooked and served up to us by the Loretta McLeod and her helpers. Yvonne Olliver was Mrs Santa with Deion Thurston as one of her assistants handed out all the gifts. Following the meal we had a small concert which caused heaps of laughter. Thank-you to everybody who helped on the day.

We have gained five new bowlers, Judy Henson, Gwen Robinson, Sylvia Burke, Marylin Mannall and Margaret Jenkins. We hope they have many years of bowing with us.

On the 10th January we returned to bowls to start the year off again.
\
Once again many thanks to the Parent Body and my Committee

Shirley Warburton President. 30th April 2012

The Men's Bowling Club Report.

The Men's Bowling Club Report.

President Eddie Lee
Vice Presidents Steve Hollington - Neil Miller - Harold Griffiths
Treasurer Garnet Eastment
Secretary Alan Rose
Bowls Organiser Garnet Eastment
Committee John O'Dell Mick Quinn Jim Green Gary Trautsch Max Ellis
Selectors
John O'Dell Neil Miller Steve Hollington Gary Trautsch Harold Griffiths

W/E 25th March
All 3 Pennant Teams suffered a loss last Saturday

It was a down beat mood after all our Pennant teams suffered a defeat at the hands of their opposition last Saturday. The story's are as follows:

Our thus far undefeated No 5's were brought back to reality after a very close encounter with the Mollymook side playing on our own turf at Worrigee. Manager Sue reports:
Team Lee 21 def A Wynter 17
Team Humphries 14 lost to P Oliver 20
Team Barker 17 lost to G McGuire 20
Result a win to Mollymook 67 to 62
Ex-Servos 1 point to Mollymook 5 points.
 
Manager's comments “Hard game with the leader board changing several times, with Mollymook coming out the winners”

Our No 6A's played at the Culburra BC and after having a win in the first round were quite hopeful for a similar result this time around. Manager Deion reports:
M.Quinn  K. Brown  M.Edwards J.Edwards a loss 19 to 25
K.Bowers G.Henson  N.Miller G.Hulbert a loss 19 to 22
 T.Smith G.Thurston I.Abberley M.Fernie a loss 15 to 24
Result a win to Culburra 71 to 53
Ex Servos 0 points Culburra 6 points
 
Manager's comments “After defeating Culburra in the first round, my expectations were high. However, on a windy afternoon and a fast green our guys could not match Culburra”

Our No 7A's played at the Callala BC
Manager Pat reports:
TJ McCormack, S.Warburton,A.Leach, H.Griffith  a loss 13-24
R.Joyce, K.Turner, N.Schulz, P.Smith a win 22-15
R.Walsh, D.Solomon, B.Madge, J.Green a loss 11-27
Result a win to Callala BC 66 to 46
Ex Servos 1 points Callala 5 points
Manager Pat's comments after the game “Oh Dear, Oh Dear!!!!!!”

W/E 1st April 2012

On Sunday the 24th March, our 6's played their washed out game from the 17th March against Gerringong
 
Results were:
 
M.Quinn K.Brown M.Edwards J.Edwards a win  22 - 9
 
K.Bowers G.Henson J.Green N.Miller a loss      18 - 23

H.Griffith G.Thurston I.Abberley M.Fernie a win 16 –13

Overall a win to the Ex Servos 56 – 45 However because we inadvertently played an illegal player on the day, all points were taken from our team and awarded to Gerringong
 
Manager's comments: “Extremely entertaining bowls to watch. The men played & supported each other well” Deion.

Last Saturday 31st March results from Round 7

The No 5' were away at the Bomaderry BC. The results were as follows:

Team Ellis lost             15 to 23
Team Humphries won 30 to 23
Team Barker won        23 to 14
 
Overall Score Ex-Servos 68----- Bomaderry 60.  5 to 1 points win in our favour
 
Manager's comments “A tight match until the last few ends which won us the game. regards Sue”

Our No 6A's played at home against the Kangaroo Valley BC. Results are as follows:
 
Team Edwards   17  Kangaroo Valley   23
 Team Miller        21  Kangaroo Valley  23
 Team Eastment 22  Kangaroo Valley   21

Overall Score Ex-Servos 60----- KV 67 1 to 5 points loss to Kangaroo Valley
 
 
Manager's comments “Extremely fast green that created havoc for all teams. Ex-Servos lead on end 36, 45 - 55. However, Valley started to pick up their game and made a come back with 47 all on the 45th end. End 60 saw Ex-Servos in front by 1 point but going down end 63 by 7 shots. Bad luck guys, an exciting game to watch” 
 
Our No 7A's were also at home to the Greenwell Point Bowling Club team. Results are as follows:

G.Cook, S.Mauger, H.Griffith, M.Fernie        27 – 17
R.Walsh, A.Leach, B.Madge, J. Green        28 – 18
K. Bailey, K.Turner, N.Schulz, P.Smith          5 – 35

Overall Score Ex-Servos  60 – GP 70.  2 to 4 points loss to Greenwell Point

Manager's comments “Oh Dear Oh Dear!!  We were winning until the 18th end and then it all fell to pieces. We scored 2 points between the three teams from then on. Oh well back to the drawing board. Pat”

The last of the Twilight bowls for this season was played at Worrigee last Thursday 5th April Twilight Bowls will recommence with Daylight saving in October later this year

W/E 8th April 2012

Last Wednesday 32  bowlers enjoyed an afternoon of Jackpot

Over 30 Ex Servos Wanderers took advantage of Easter Sunday for a social morning of mixed bowls at Worrigee. Harry Griffiths submitted the following report of the event:

“We Had 31 Bowlers playing on 5 rinks, 3 bowl Triples...18 ends
and 32 hungry souls sat down for Lunch
 
There was a prize for the most decorative Easter Hat and the competition was won  by Norma Yee for most colourful and best design

Prize winners on the day were”
1st,Shirley Nichols - Margaret Young & Priscilla Eastment
2nd  Daphne Watson - Frances Carrett & Sue Rose
Lucky loser Prize Out of the Hat went to:
Peter Webb - Bert Watson & Ray Joyce.
 
2 new attendees joined up as members of the Wanderers today, Jane & Peter Haddon from Bomaderry.
Bowlers attended from Ex Servos/Nowra/Greenwell Point/Berry and Bomaderry Clubs.
 
Home social events are held at Ex Servos once a month, with an away visit to other clubs also once a month. We are always looking to welcome new members to the Worrigee Wanderers and would welcome enquiries at any of the scheduled venues. These are listed weekly in the Wednesday copy of the South Coast Register
 
Notice to all bowlers
Club fees are now due to be paid for the 2012 – 2013 bowling year. The rates are the same as last year viz: $35 for Pensioners and $40 for full members. Please note that current members who have not renewed their membership by 27th May will need to apply for membership once again

Our AGM will be held at the Sports Club at 10:00 am on Sunday 27th May. Nominations are now open for all positions on the Mens Bowling Club committee and all members are encouraged to consider contributing to the management and running of our club by nominating for a position on the committee. Nomination forms are available on the noticeboard in the Jack Elliot room at the club

Nominations are now open for attendance at the Veterans and Super Veterans day to be held at the Nowra Bowling Club on the 7th May 2012. 9:30 am morning Tea and bowls commence at 10:00 am. Cost $8:00 for bowls and BBQ lunch. Nomination forms are on the notice board near the kitchen.

W?E 15th April 2012

A worrying time for our No 5 Pennant side

There will be lots of thoughts going through our No 5 Pennant team following our clash with the Currarong team last Saturday In fact the team won quite well on two rinks played but went down badly on the third. The result were as follows:

Team Ellis 10 vs Team Miekle 27.
Team Barker 24 – Team Donovan 15
Team Humphries 22 – Team Badger 18.
Ex Servos 56 - Currarong 60.  Currarong earned 4 points. Ex Servos 2 points.

Manager's comments after the game “Sadly one of our teams had a bad day, but it gets worse, - Rivals in the competition Mollymook won 5-1 in their game and leap to the front on the points ladder” regards Alan.

Our No 7's fared similarly up against a Shoalhaven Heads team. Their results were as follows:

G.Cook, N.Schulz, H.Griffith, M.Fernie            16 – 17
K.Turner, J.Newbold, G.Richardson, P. Smith        16 – 27
B.Walsh, A. Leach, B. Madge, J. Green                 16 – 18
Ex Servos 48 – Shoalhaven Heads 62. Shoalhaven Heads  earned 6 points. Ex Servos Nil                    

Managers report after the game were “Oh Dear, Oh Dear, Oh Dear!!!! The matches were really close but we couldn’t finish off the points” Pat

What's on in May 2012
Wed 2nd 12:30 Jackpot Social
Sat 5th 12:30 Major Singles
Sun 6th 9:00 Major Singles
Tue 8th 10:00 Committee Meeting
Wed 9th 12:30 Jackpot Social
Sat 12th 12:30 Major Pairs
Sun 13th 9:00 Major Singles
Wed 16th 12:30 Jackpot Social
Sat 19th 12:30 Major Pairs
Wed 23rd 12:30 Jackpot Social
Sat 26th 12:30 Major Pairs
Sun 27th 9:30 Annual General Meeting
Wed 30th 12:30 Jackpot Social

Visitors are always welcome to join us on our social bowling days

That's all for this month. Hope to seeyerallonthegreens Regards Jay Bee

Photos at the end of the Newsletter
..........................

Mens Bowling Club

The Jets RL Football Club Report - The Last Post - Letters

The Jets Football Club Report

I am fairly sure that our Club is still sponsoring the Jets Rugby League club & because of this, I am sure members will be keen to ascertain the latest make-up of the team and their prospects for the coming season.

A team photo for 2012 would be great too. Board member Greg Sturgiss I hope will arrange a regular correspondent from the club.
Jay Bee Co-Editor
.................

THE LAST POST

It is with regret that we report the passing of the following members of the Shoalhaven Ex-Servicemen’s Club.

JOHN GEORGE
JOHN ALLAN
RAYMOND RUNDLE
ROBERT LEWIS
COLLEEN BOLES
IVY MURRAY
RONALD SUGAR
MARY DANNECKER
STEFAN GOLOD
CORNELIS OSSENDORP
JAN EDWARDS
FRANCIS PUNCH
EVON BOYD

To family and friends, we express our deep sorrow and sincere sympathy.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
WE WILL REMEMBER THEM.
LEST WE FORGET.
...................

LETTERS

No correspondence this month
…...............................

Is gambling a problem?

The Secretary Manager's Report

The Secretary Manager's Report

Congratulations to 2nd chance $1,000 winner for February Peter Flanagan Member # 10895

Membership as at 11th April 2012 was 12,889

Gaming Machine pay-outs to lucky winners during March 2012 - $2,027,837-40 Congratulations to all the winners who had a share in these windfalls.

The new carpet is now installed at the Sports Club with many complimentary comments coming in from members and visitors alike.

The Board has accepted a quote from Dalkia Technical Services to supply and install a new Air Conditioning Chiller and Chilled Water Pump for the Main Club and these will be installed in the upcoming Winter months in order to cause as little inconvenience to Members and guests as possible and at the same time the Board is also in the process of looking at the possibility of Air Conditioning the RSL Hall and I hope to have more news on this one next Month.

Not much happening with maintenance on the golf course due to the very wet weather in February/March however trade in this area has improved somewhat since the rains stopped in the latter part of March and the first half of April.

Mothers Day is fast approaching and I am sure that members will be eager to attend the Club raffles around that time and hope to pick up one of the fabulous prizes on offer for this special Day.

Applications for ClubGrants ( previously known as Category 1 Community Support and Development Expenditure or CDSE) closed on 27th April 2012 and once they have been Collated and Prioritised by the Local Committee the Clubs Board will sift through them and select the worthy recipients of this years funding so watch this space for further advices as to who they are.

The winner of the Club's 2012 Certificate of Merit Award will be selected by the Board at it's May meeting and the winner will be announced at a presentation ceremony to be held on Wednesday 6th June 2012 and I will report who that lucky winner was sometime after that event.

Not much happening on the Mandatory Pre Commitment front since Mr Wilkie decided not to support the legislation in its current form so I am not sure where this matter will go from here.

I think that is all the news for this month. To those not feeling too well at this stage, my sincere hopes that your recovery will be swift and we see you again at either of the Clubs.

Regards Chris Allen Secretary Manager
….............................

Poets Corner

POEMS submitted by members

The Iris On The Table
Author member
(Dawn Taylor)
It was Mother's Day a year ago my daughter gave to me
A bunch of of lovely Iris flowers the colour of the sea.
I placed them on the table in a beautiful glass vase.
“With all my love” she told me, signed with a heart

In the silence of the darken room we first heard the sound,
A crackling noise, much closer as we both looked around.
Glancing at the table and it quickly caught our eyes,
An Iris bud had burst it's sheaf, what a brilliant surprise.

A life, a new beginning, a creation send from God,
Given to me on Mother's Day, a symbol of his love.
A tiny petal of blue appeared right before our eyes,
Delicate and precious, we were both mesmerised.

Natures special moment, many of us never see.
The the Iris on the table made Mother's Day for me
…...........................
Cranky Old  Man
(Alan F)

What do you see nurses? . . . . . . What do you see?
What are you thinking . . . when you're looking at me?
A cranky old man . . . . . . not very wise,
Uncertain of habit . . . . . . . . . . with faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food . . . . . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . . . . 'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice . . . the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . . . . . a sock or shoe?

Who, resisting or not . . . . lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . . the long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? . . . Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse . . . you're not looking at  me.

I'll tell you who I am . . . . . as I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding . . . . . . . as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of ten . . with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters . . . . . . . who love one another

A young boy of sixteen . . . . with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now . . . . . . a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at twenty . . . . . my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows  . . . . that I promised to keep.

At twenty-five, now . . . . . . . I  have young of my own,
Who need me to guide . . . and a secure happy home.
A man of thirty . . . . . . my young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . . . with ties that should last.

At forty, my young sons . . . have grown and are gone,
But my woman is beside me . . . to see I don't mourn.
At fifty, once more, . . . . babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . my loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me . . . . my wife is now dead.
I look at the future . . . . . . . I shudder with dread.
For my young are all  rearing . . . young of their own,
and I think of the years . . . . .  and the love that I've known.

I'm now an old man . . . . . . . . . .  and nature is cruel.
It's jest to make old age . . . . . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles . . . . grace and vigour, depart.
There is now a stone . . . . where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass, a young man still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . . . my battered heart swells
I remember the joys . . . . . . I remember the pain,
And I'm loving and living . . . . . . . life over again.

I think of the years, all too few . . . and gone too fast,
And accept the stark fact . . . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people . . . . . . . open and see.
Not a cranky old man. Look closer . . . . see . . . . ME!
…...........................
 

LAUGH A LITTLE EVERY DAY....& The World According to Bert

LAUGH A LITTLE EVERY DAY....

There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here right now thinking how nice it is that wrinkles & fat don't hurt.
…..........................

THE WORLD ACCORDING TO BERT

I've learned..... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I've learned..... That when you're in love, it shows.

I've learned..... That just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.

I've learned..... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

I've learned..... That being kind is more important than being right.

I've learned..... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

I've learned..... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.

I've learned..... That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

I've learned..... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I've learned..... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

…...................................

LAUGH AND THE WORLD WILL LAUGH WITH YOU followed by member submitted photos from Mens Bowling Club - Vets Golf Club - The Rowing Club & the Mens Bowling Club

LAUGH AND THE WORLD WILL LAUGH WITH YOU
Jokes submitted by members
Have a great Day
(Bert W)
Patrick walks into a bar in Dublin,

Orders three pints of Guinness & sits in the corner of the room,

Drinking a sip out of each pint in turn.

When he had finished all three, He went back to the bar & ordered three more.

The barman says, "You know a pint goes flat soon after I pull it .......... Your pint would taste better if you bought one at a time."

Patrick replies, "Well now, I have two brodders, one is in America ; & de odder in Australia ; & here I am in Dublin . When we all left home, we promised dat we'd drink dis way to remember de days we all drank togedder."

The barman admits that this is a nice custom & says no more.

Patrick becomes a regular customer, & always drinks the same way ....... Ordering three pints & drinking a sip out of each in turn, until they are finished.

One day, he comes in & orders just two pints.

All the other regulars in the bar notice! & fall silent.

When he goes back to the bar for the second round,

The barman says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss."

Patrick looks confused for a moment, then the penny drops & he starts to laugh,

"Oh no," he says, "Bejesus, everyone is fine !

Tis me, ...................... I've Quit Drinking !"
….............
Irish vs The French!
(Eddie L)

The French President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.

'Hallo, Mr. Sarkozy!' a heavily accented voice said. 'This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you! We voted to reject the Lisbon treaty!'

'Well Paddy, Sarkozy replied. How big is your army?'

'Right now,' says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, 'there is myself, me Cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eleven!'

Sarkozy paused. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command.'

'Begorra!' says Paddy. 'I'll have to ring you back.'

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. 'Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!'

'And what equipment would that be Paddy?' Sarkozy asks.

'Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor.'

Sarkozy sighs amused. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke.'

'Saints preserve us!' says Paddy. 'I'll have to get back to you.'

Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. 'Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!'

Sarkozy was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200, 000!'

'Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!' says Paddy, 'I will have to ring you back.'

Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. 'Top o' the mornin', Mr. Sarkozy! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war.'

'Really? I am sorry to hear that,' says Sarkozy. 'Why the sudden change of heart?'

'Well,' says Paddy, 'we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness and packets of crisps, and we decided there is no way we can feed 200,000 prisoners.'
…..................

Wanna buy a tie?
(Frank Y)
A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was trudging through the Afghanistan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried towards it, only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand selling ties.

The Taliban asked, "Do you have water"The Jewish man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5"

The Taliban shouted, "Infidel! I do not need an over-priced tie! I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first!"

"OK, OK" said the old Jewish man, "It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the ice cold water you need. Shalom."

Muttering, the Taliban staggered away over the hill. Several hours later he staggered back, almost dead, and said "Your flaming brother won't let me in without a tie!"
…..........................

A Lighter Side
(Shirley F)
A couple were celebrating 50 years together.
Their three kids, all very successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honour.
"Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad," gushed son number one. 'Sorry I'm running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a
patient, you know how it is, and I didn't have time to get you a gift."
"Not to worry," said the father. "The important thing is that we're all together today."
Son number two arrived and announced, "You and Mom look great, Dad. I just flew in from Los Angeles between depositions and
didn't have time to shop for you."
"It's nothing," said the father. "We're glad you were able to come."
Just then the daughter arrived. "Hello and happy anniversary! I'm sorry, but my boss is sending me out of town and I was really busy packing so I didn't have time to get you anything."
After they had finished dessert, the father said, "There's something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time. You see, we were very poor. Despite this, we were able to send each of you to college. Throughout the years your mother and I knew that we loved each other very much, but we just never found the time to get married."
The three children gasped and all said, "You mean we're all bastards?"
"Yep," said the father. "And cheap ones too."
…......................

TWO IRISH WOMEN IN A BAR
(Michael F)

Two women were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while, one looks at the other and says, 'I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland.'

The other woman responds proudly, 'Yes, I sure am!' The first one says, '

So am I! And where about in Ireland are ya from?' The other woman answers,

'I'm from Dublin , I am.' The first one responds, 'So, am I!! And what street did you live on in Dublin ?'

The other woman says, 'A lovely little area. It was in the west end. I lived on Warbury Street in the old central part of town.'

The first one says, ‘;faith and begorrah it's a small world. So did I! So did I! And what school did ya go to?'

The other woman answers, 'Well now, I went to Holy Heart of Mary, of course.'

The first one gets really excited and says, 'And so did I! Tell me, what year did you graduate?'

The other woman answers, 'Well, now, let's see. I graduated in 1964.' The first woman exclaims,

'The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same pub tonight! Can you believe it? I graduated from Holy Heart of Mary in 1964 me self!'

About this time, Michael walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a beer. Brian, the bartender, walks over to Michael shaking his head and mutters,

'It's going to be a long night tonight.' Michael asks,

'Why do you say that, Brian?'

Brian answers, 'The Murphy twins are drunk again!"
….............

Instructions
(Bob W)
Wife texts husband on a cold winters morning: "Windows frozen."

Husband texts back:"pour some Luke warm water over it."

Wife texts back:"computer completely stuffed now."
….................

A Senior Moment
(Shirley F)
Several days ago as I left a meeting at our church, I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing.

Suddenly I realised, I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My wife, Dianne, has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them. Her theory is that the car will be stolen. As I burst through the doors of the church, I came to a terrifying conclusion. Her theory was right. The parking lot was empty. I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.

Then I made the most difficult call of all, “Honey,” I stammered. I always call her “honey” in times like these. “I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen.”

There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard Dianne’s voice. “Ken” she barked, “I dropped you off!”

Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, “Well, come and get me.”

Diane retorted, “I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car.”
….........................

Don't underestimate old blokes
(Alan F)
An elderly man who helped to establish Meentheena Station for War Vets and Para-military vets had owned the large property for several years.

He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.

He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!'

The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.'

Holding the bucket up he said,
'I'm here to feed the crocodile...'Some old men can still think fast.
.........................

Rugby Heaven
(Terry E)

Two 90 year old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives. When it's clear that Joe is dying, Mike visits him every day.
One day Mike says, "Joe, we both loved rugby all our lives, and we played rugby on Saturdays together for so many years. Please do me one favour, when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's rugby there."

Joe looks up at Mike from his death bed, "Mike, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favour for you." Shortly after that, Joe passes on.

At midnight a couple of nights later, Mike is awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him, "Mike -- Mike."
"Who is it?" asks Mike sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?"
"Mike--it's me, Joe."
"You're not Joe. Joe just died."
"I'm telling you, it's me, Joe," insists the voice."
"Joe! Where are you?"
"In heaven," replies Joe. "I have some really good news and a little bad news."
"Tell me the good news first," says Mike.

"The good news," Joe says, "is that there IS rugby in heaven. Better yet, all of our old friends who died before us are here, too. Better even than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always spring time and it never rains or snows. And, best of all, we can play rugby all we want, and we never get tired."

"That's fantastic," says Mike. "It's beyond my wildest dreams! So what's the bad news?"

"You're in the team for this Saturday."
…..........................

2 Irish Nuns
(John E)

Two Irish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat, and one says to the other,
"I hear that the people in this country actually eat dogs."

"Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America , we might as well do as the Americans do."

As they sit, they hear a push cart vendor yelling, "Hot Dogs, get your dogs
here," and they both walk towards the hot dog cart.

"Two dogs, please!," says one. The vendor is very pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over. Excited, the nuns hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their 'dogs.'

The mother superior is first to open hers.

She begins to blush, and then after staring at it for a moment, leans to the other Nun and in a soft brogue whispers.

"What part did you get?"
…...........…...........

The Mens Bowling Club - The Vets Golf Club - The Rowing Club - The Mens Golf Club

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Your Editors

Items for the Newsletter can be emailed to John & Joan Braiden email -

Co Editor Joan

Co Editor John